3 Ways To Pick an Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing

Alright, fellas. 

You want to know about jewelry? You’ve come to the right place.

You want to secretly pick an engagement ring for your girlfriend? I’m here to help. 

So, let’s explore your options!


3 Ways To Pick an Engagement Ring without Her Knowing

Figuring out how to pick an engagement ring that your future fiance will adore can feel overwhelming. And to be fair, there’s a lot you need to consider. Before picking out their ring, you need to find narrow down the:

  • Cut (princess, oval, emerald, pear; here’s a cheat sheet)
  • Color (silver, gold, rose gold)
  • Gem (diamond, moissanite, ruby or pearl)
  • Ring size

I’m going to be 100% honest with you: you should discuss all of this with your partner first!

When two people decide to get married, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to one party. Marriage is a huge commitment, so you both need to be on board with your relationship's wants, needs, and boundaries. 

That includes discussing the engagement ring they’re going to wear for the rest of their life. 

Here’s the trick: Ask for this information well before you plan on proposing. You know when you realize that your partner is “the one”? That’s about the time you should ask about their ring preferences

Try to incorporate it into your marriage discussions as early as possible. Write it down or commit it to memory (if you can) so you’ll have the tools you need for The Proposal.

Now, after a couple of months (or even years), here’s how you can surprise them with the perfect engagement ring. 


Option #1: Ask Her Friends For Help

Do not—I repeat: DO NOT— ask your mom or sister for help. Especially if they don’t know your partner as well as you do. 

The only other people in their life who can help you out with this endeavor are people who are close to  them

Make sure you’re working with the most empathetic and knowledgeable person in their friend group. If you don’t know their friends very well, try to casually inquire about them to your partner. Ask them questions like:

  • Who is your best friend?
  • Which friends would you want in your bridal party?
  • Who do you tell all of your secrets to?

Pay special attention to friends that continuously call up your friend to talk gossip. Those friends are probably not the best with secrets. 

Once you know which friend to trust, reach out to them over text, email, or social media. Tell them about your proposal plans and what you have figured out so far. They'll likely ask about the ring and that's when you can ask them to help you pick out the engagement ring without her knowing!

Chances are, said friend will be ecstatic to be involved. 


Option #2: Sneaky Online Sleuthing

No matter what your SO tells you, I can almost guarantee she has a Pinterest Wedding Board.

It might be set to private, but she has one! 

Take a little sneaky peek at her board to see if you can get a feeling for the type of ring and proposal she might be dreaming about. If you can’t find anything, refer to #1 and ask her friends to help you out!

Again, you should discuss engagement ring preferences before the Big Ask. If you can't find any hint of what they like online, straight up ask your partner to show you rings they like on Pinterest. Then create your own secret Pinterest board. ;)

RELATED: The Meaning Behind All 12 Birthstones

Option #3: Get Her a Promise Ring

Promise rings may seem like a tradition for younger couples, but it’s actually a terrific way to start a conversation about rings. 

If your plan is to completely surprise your loved one with a ring, getting them some kind of promise ring beforehand gives you an excuse to ask her ring style, cut, and color favorites.

After all, a promise ring doesn’t have to be a surprise! If you need some ideas, we think your girlfriend will be absolutely dizzy over these animated rings (great for those with anxiety). We also have the Essentials if your girl has more of a minimalist taste. 

You can open up the discussion about rings by simply admitting that you want to get them a ring for a holiday or their birthday. For example, if your future fiance is a mother, you can get her a Mama ring or an A-Z band with her childs' initials on it.

This way, you'll know her favorite color and size so that you can pick an engagement ring without her knowing!

How are you going to pop the question? Tell us all about it here!

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